Doc Olson as a young man, circa 1955, when America was still a free country.
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM BEHIND THE BARN:
Today we offer you a guest article from Dr. Philip G. Olson, renowned author of Reality Roundup: What Every Good Normal Needs to Know.
Dr. Olson holds a personally awarded PhD in Cognitive Cultural Analysis from Truman Burbank University where he graduated Minima Cum Laude, and is the founder of Rationalists Investigating Suppressed Knowledge (RISK). Without further ado, we give you Dr. Olson.
#### PRESENTATION BEGINS ###
Good day friends,
Let us begin by considering what you know. That is, what you think you know.
What do you really know?
How do you know that you actually know it?
Might you be confounding belief with reality?
Perhaps you just wish for things to be true?
Or would be afraid for them not to be true?
Reality is such messy business. Which is why it cannot be left to the taxpayers.
Were the people to know the true nature of reality with regard to their recent history and present circumstances, some would become catatonic with fear, while others would jump off of the World Trade Center.
Except it isn't there any more. We'll get to that sometime soon.
We look at a goldfish swimming in its tank. It swims up to the glass where it meets the shimmering boundary of its universe. We imagine that it must think the universe of fuzzy objects beyond to be just an illusion.
Let us turn now to a family of Normals seated on their living room sofas.
Ned Normal is a police officer who provides corridor security at Karl Marx Elementary School where his wife, Nancy Normal substitute teaches.
Ten-year old Brandon Normal developed Oppositional Defiance Disorder after being medicated for ADD, ADHD and OCD, and little 7-year old Bethany Normal became mute and autistic after her 57th immunization.
It's 7:00 o'clock in the evening and the Normals are seated in the direct path of The Beam being emitted from their giant plasma TV which they obtained five years ago on a maxed-out credit card and, I should add, are still purchasing today with minimum payments.
Unbeknownst to the Normals, The Beam has been silently hypnotizing them since 1973 when as young children they developed the childhood habit of watching their parents’ TV each evening. Addictions like these are more easily developed while still young and impressionable.
Today The Beam washes over the Normals each evening, bathing them in its soft, glowing light as it has done for 30 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, throughout their adult lives.
Ned and Nancy Normal have come to love The Beam, viewing it is it were another member of the household. Truth be told, they spend more time bathing in The Beam than they do conversing with their own children.
This evening the Normals are watching The History Channel as The Beam purports to tell them what actually happened.
They stare at the screen - that shimmering boundary where their living room meets reality beyond - and we consider what they think they know about…
… the Civil War
… global warming
… the assassination of John F. Kennedy
… the moon landing
... the real space program
... World War I
... World War II
... the War On Poverty
... the War On Drugs
… the War On Terror
… the public education system
… the nature of money
... cancer, heart disease, etc.
… the income tax
… the federal deficit
… school shootings
… what really happened on "9-11"
… and a host of other topics.
After decades of repeated Beam exposure, the Normals have come to "know" things that, unbeknownst to them - and this is how this is supposed to work - have little to no bearing on the actual truth about almost anything: from politics, history, religion and civilization, to finance, science, nutrition and disease.
Worse still, the Normals have no idea what is coming next. I call it the Big Economic Reset.
But how could they? They have no idea why this has happened before, and they have no idea what is actually happening today, behind the shimmering interface.
The Big Economic Reset will decimate the Normals’ 401ks, delete their home equity, force them into bankruptcy and leave them living in a used delivery van, working odd jobs for cash and eating canned food donated from shelters.
Their home will be sold at a tax auction to a homeschooling family who will buy it for 60 cents on the dollar and immediately cancel cable TV.
With The Beam disconnected, they will spend evenings talking to each other, reading books on real history (what actually happened) and practicing the answers to College Level Entry Placement (CLEP) exams with their young teeangers so they can obtain college diplomas in a few years without a penny of debt.
When the crash hits bottom, technical market analysis will inform them to purchase oversold equities and they will quadruple their investments within the next few years.
This will allow them to purchase several tiny homes through various trusts in rural areas throughout the United States where they can retreat in safety when the The Big Political Reset follows the Big Economic Reset.
I should stop here, because what comes next is too scary to mention in case there are young children or adult liberals reading this.
In closing, I wish you a happy and peaceful day and don't forget to buy some extra bullets, beer and Bitcoin.
You're gonna' need it.
#### END OF PRESENTATION ###
Click here for the latest posts!
New to our fine publication?
The Daily SPAM is chock full of real meat, chewed and predigested so you don't have to swallow the fake news whole!
Be smart like Betty here and know what's really going on.