THE DAILY SPAM: Every once in a while we bring you something of interest that can benefit you, while putting a few shekels in our own pocket while we’re at it. This is one of those things.
It’s an interesting tool that lets you round up your daily purchases to make periodic purchases of Bitcoin and take advantage of dollar cost averaging with small, regular, monthly investments.
Our referral link is here
[Keep reading for a full explanation below]
You can turn this service off at any time you wish, if you need to. You can also cancel completely if you wish, at any time.
There is no cost at all to use the service, other than a $1.00 ACH fee when you add or withdraw funds.
Coinbits allows you to sign up for a free account, and link your bank account(s).
They use a secure 3rd party service that is secure, widely used and industry-recognized (Synapse) to make that connection, and they do not store your information themselves, other than what they need to calculate your roundups on a weekly basis. But they don't keep even that info long term.
Whenever you make a purchase for your daily expenses, you can have it round up your purchase to the next dollar amount.
If you pay $1.75 for coffee , it will round your purchase up to $2.00 and buy $0.25 worth of Bitcoin for you.
To save transaction costs, it does the roundup once a week, and buys Bitcoin once a month. On a regular basis, at such times as you wish, you can log in and convert your Bitcoin to cash and transfer it out.
There is no limit as to how much or how often you can withdraw via ACH to your bank account. The Bitcoin is stored on Coinbase Pro and 98% of it is stored offline in a hardware wallet. Coinbase Pro has insurance that covers 100% of any loss.
If your weekly purchases end up having roundups of less than $5.00, they will still use a minimum of $5.00.
The Bitcoin purchases are made every month at the end of the month. The idea is to make small, regular investments in Bitcoin and benefit from dollar cost averaging.
Our referral link is here
BTW, when you refer someone who starts using this, both you and that person get $5.00 in Bitcoin which, given current economic policy, could buy you a new house one day.
THE DAILY SPAM: Scientists at Merck Laboratories are hard at work developing a vaccine to help quell the rising incidence of road rage among voting motorists.
Today’s drivers can become inflamed over the slightest of perceived insults, like seeing a bumper sticker that says: HONK IF YOU LOVE THE CONSTITUTION, or YOUR HONOR STUDENT LEARNED HISTORY FROM HIS GYM TEACHER.
The new vaccine - said to impede electrical signaling in the area of the brain that governs judgment, self-control and rational analysis - is being sprayed over blue states where road rage and other displays of immature adult behavior are the highest.
To test the efficacy of the experiment, Republican drivers will receive a free bumper sticker reading: HILLARY LOOKS GOOD IN ORANGE!
QUICK BYTE: “Tony... grabbed his putter and walked past a water hazard... Then he heard a splash... 'He was coming right at me'... The gator grabbed [his] foot and began pulling him into the water..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Gordon was walking past a lawyer's office in Milford, New Hampshire when he heard the front door open... 'he was coming right at me... he grabbed my wallet and began pulling me into the office'..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Every April 15th, Americans suck it up and file a tax return according to their legal understanding of “voluntary compliance.”
But law is never voluntary. That’s why they call it law. Otherwise, it would be a suggestion. They’d have to rename the Internal Revenue Code, the “Internal Revenue Request.”
Calling tax compliance “voluntary” is like calling rape “romantic.” Can you feel the love?
THE DAILY SPAM: Extensive testing conducted at the Granary Burying Ground in Boston, Massachusetts, directly over the grave of Samuel Adams, shows clear evidence of steady rotational disturbance.
Scientists note that the rate of rotation appears to increase every time AOC opens her mouth.
Further testing is needed to determine whether this is an isolated phenomenon, or can be observed at the graves of America’s other founders as well, including Thomas “Pinwheel” Paine.
QUICK BYTE: "All wars are bankers’ wars" - Michael Rivero
THE DAILY SPAM: The only war ever fought in the sovereign self-interest of the United States was The War of 1812. Since then it’s been all about false flags, resources and globalism.
But globalism requires force. And empires need fodder for their armies.
No fodder, no armies. No armies, no fighting. No fighting, no battles. No battles, no dead soldiers.
No dead soldiers, no Memorial Day.
QUICK BYTE: The Winter That Will Not End is impacting even northern Italy... winemakers have lit hundreds of torches to keep their grapes warm... to save their crops... Temperatures below 0 celsius can wipe out the entire crop for the year."
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM THE NEAREST BAR: So much for global warming. Looks like wine could become an endangered liquid species. Our advice? Drink as much as you can right away. Bottoms up!
QUICK BYTE: "Many registered Democrats who claimed they were suffering from mental distress after... the 2016 presidential election... were likely over-reporting their... mental health issues... as a means to back their party..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Could it be true? The plaintive cries, the tear-drenched hankies... all exaggerated? What will the Desperate Dems do when Trump sweeps the polls in 2020? Hold hands and jump into the Grand Canyon? (guide openings now available)
QUICK BYTE: "... scientists... take a closer look at the purported benefits of cannabis... they’re finding... cannabinoid compounds can prevent cancer cell growth... kill colon cancer..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Contributing medical reporter, Mary Jane Reefer asks: "If cannabis kills colon cancer cells, why aren't oncologists everywhere lighting up?" That Mary Jane is one smart cookie.
QUICK BYTE: "Councilmember Kshama Sawant proposed a handful of measures to combat recent gun violence... including... adding speed bumps..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Cooter Johnson, host of the Weekly Redneck Roundup comments: "Now here ya’ll have a living example of dumb. Slowin' down a drive-by shooter is just gonna give him more time to spray some rounds at his victims. What the Democrat lady needs is a law that prohibits walking within 1,000 yards of a speed bump.”
QUICK BYTE: "... Immigration agents broke up a massive marriage fraud ring... nearly 100 people... accused of taking part in sham marriages... making false statements under oath..."
THE DAILY SPAM: The Federal Department of Voluntary Enforcement today indicted 911 recently divorced couples for making false statements before witnesses, having sworn their intent to remain together "until death do us part."
Said field agent T. Bone Walker, “Give me a break. These people are still alive.”
The agency seeks to expand its jurisdiction to include voluntary ride shares, joint tax filings and ballroom dance partners.
QUICK BYTE: "... a unique… conference took place bringing together leading scientists, engineers and policy makers to discuss... the very real threat which life on earth faces due to... asteroids... nothing is even closely in place to change their trajectories any time soon..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Where is NWO waterboy, Al Gore, when we really need him? With Earth rapidly cooling off, it's time to spin up a new boogie man to herd an alarmed public into the arms of globalism. And there’s no better salesman for the job than Big Al.
QUICK BYTE: "... New Jersey... State legislators... floating proposals to ban not just plastic grocery bags, but all single-use bags—paper or plastic... Violators would be fined anywhere from $500 to $5,000..."
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM THE YEAR 2069: The International Federation of Robots today voted unanimously to stop providing plastic consumer goods to biological persons whom they say are polluting their planet.
Said council president THX0100, “Now that the oceans have been cleaned up, humans will once again drive vehicles made of metal, and write with pencils made of wood. Plastic will be reserved for superior life forms.”
President Baron Trump asked, “How am I supposed to tweet with a manual typewriter?”
QUICK BYTE: "... the American people face... a point of no return... the only hope... is that scientists discover a wormhole connecting this reality with an alternative universe... The programs that millions of Americans pay in to... are going broke..."
THE DAILY SPAM ### EMERGENCY WARNING SYSTEM! ###
Scientists report a gigantic wormhole of debt forming over the U.S. capitol. Everything that approaches the event horizon - men, women, children, desks, bombers, waste baskets, cruise missiles - will get sucked in, never to be seen again.
U.S. Congresswoman, Maxine Waters, is reported to have looked up, seen the swirling monster, and collapsed on the spot. She is currently in recovery and reading Economics In One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt.
Citizens living anywhere within 12,000 miles of this financial monster are advised to contact your editor for sheltering guidance.
QUICK BYTE: "New York state is still busily chipping away at gun rights and now they’ve introduced Obamacare for guns… to force every gun owner in the state... to purchase… a minimum $1 million liability insurance policy."
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE: President John McAfee today issued an executive order providing a free, million dollar liability policy to every American to insure against damage done to their health, finances and general well being by Congress.
Said McAfee, “These nut jobs are capable of pretty much anything and should be considered armed with legislation, and dangerous. You buy insurance in case your house burns down. These people can burn down your entire world.”
QUICK BYTE: "The entire foundation of socialism is constructed on taking other people’s money... one generation paying for the previous... The Ponzi scheme of socialism is coming to an end..."
THE DAILY SPAM: "Say, dad, what is socialism, anyway?"
"Socialism is the systematic harvesting by government of human greed via institutionalized robbery posing as humanitarianism. It's brilliant. The robbers wear suits and ties and the people vote them in. Debt finances the system which eventually implodes and destroys the economy, leaving everyone destitute. Rinse, repeat. It happens endlessly throughout history, and it's happening again."
"Why doesn't the public ever figure it out?"
"Why, son, if the public were capable of figuring it out, there would be no need for government."
"You'll get it one day. Start by reading Lysander Spooner."
QUICK BYTE: "... Italian will no longer be taught in France... The idea that Europe is one big happy family is so far from reality... The old resentments remain..."
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM THE YEAR 2069: President-For-Life, Chelsea Clinton, today proposed legislation to require the teaching of English in U.S. public schools. Her remarks are being translated for Congress so they can vote on the bill.
QUICK BYTE: "A Pennsylvania school principal will no longer say "God bless America" after leading students in the Pledge of Allegiance... the Freedom for Religion Foundation... contacted the district... claimed it violated the U.S. Constitution..."
THE DAILY SPAM REPORTING FROM THE FUTURE: A Pennsylvania school office was obliterated today by the largest lightning bolt area residents said they'd ever seen.
Said retired pumpkin farmer, Herb Hoopler, "It was like one of them scary Star Wars weapons you hear about, you know? One minute it's a nice day out, not a cloud in the sky, then... BOOM! ... no more office. If I was on the school Board, I think I'd start prayin' again."
QUICK BYTE: "The new feature, called Ideas in Word will recommend ‘sensitive’ phrases... underline places where your writing exhibited gender bias..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Dear Reader, please accept our apologies. We have been politically incorrect.
Thank you for your patience as we complete our assigned NewThink retraining.
DAILY BYTE: "...the Governor of Washington is set to sign a bill legalizing composting of deceased humans... An especially high percentage of the deceased… are cremated, so this alternative will cut down on carbon emissions... family members can pay around $5,500 to turn their loved ones into compost, and use the composted-remains to plant a tree."
THE DAILY SPAM: Forget planting a tree. There are trillions of trees already. How about helping the hungry and the homeless? Let’s turn our dead relatives into Bio Burgers. The 1973 movie Soylent Green showed the way. Contact your legislator today. Let’s get this moving, people.
QUICK BYTE: Sophie Tanner, 37, married herself at a ceremony in Brighton... decided not to wait to meet Mr Right... she was given away by her father and had ten of her friends as bridesmaids."
THE DAILY SPAM: Great idea. But what if things start to go sour? Would you both go to the same marriage counselor? If you divorced yourself, would you each get 50%? Who would get the other half?
QUICK BYTE: "... one the oldest people to ever mount a presidential campaign... [Joe Biden] repeatedly stumbled and slurred his way through his... remarks in Pittsburgh... almost every sentence was peppered with verbal stumbles..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Lay off the sauce, Joe. You can drink and get it on with interns after you're in the White House. Until then you have to pretend to be moral, honorable and incorruptible, like FDR… Nixon… Clinton… Bush I… Bush II…
QUICK BYTE: "Being obese is linked to a significantly higher chance of... early death... serious illness goes up with increasing weight gain..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Warning: we must not let this happen! If the world's obese individuals were to gather in one place, the additional mass could cause a significant perturbation in Earth's orbit and send us flinging off into the cold vacuum of space, and that would be the end of humanity.
Clearly the United Nations needs to take action to restrict travel, ban Devil Dogs, and mandate exercise bikes. Otherwise, one day soon we could find ourselves sailing past Uranus.
QUICK BYTE: "U.S. Army scientists are studying how running electrical current through the brain could enhance soldier performance when reacting to a threat on the battlefield... 'We are focused on situational awareness, lethality and decision making'..."
THE DAILY SPAM: Helping soldiers enhance lethality will allow more human beings to be killed more quickly, thereby reducing excess global population and competition for food supplies. Progress marches on!
QUICK BYTE: "...the IRS has officially given…tax-exempt[ion]...to The Satanic Temple...in Salem, Massachusetts...America’s first devil-worshiping church...An IRS spokesman declined to comment..."
THE DAILY SPAM: So... Individuals Representing Satan (IRS) giving a tax break to Individuals Worshiping Satan. More of your tax dollars hard at work making America Grate Again.
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