NOTICES, WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS!
The Daily SPAM is published from a secure trading bunker in rugged New Hampshire where the license plate reads "Live Free Or Die," but that's just to scare off illegals and the unarmed.
Written to document humanity's epic, tragicomic march through history, one resource-driven conquest at a time, with something to enlighten, uplift and offend everyone.
Not responsible for the factual accuracy of referenced articles. Typos and solecisms are the publisher's alone. Errors will be corrected and the violator shot.
Articles we publish may appear insensitive to the deep need of liberals for continuing reinforcement of accepted fantasies, however we are not authorized to provide officially sanctioned brainwashing. For that you need CNN. If triggered, seek shelter in a safe space.
Your editor's juvenile record includes 12 years of forced incarceration in a series of minimum security, federally funded social conditioning camps, complete with chain link fence, yellow inmate transport vehicles, ringing bells, daily roll call, locker inspections, hall monitors, a pill dispensary and a warden principal.
A known member of the terrorist cult, Al-Gebra, Gordon was recently detained at the airport for possessing a compass, a slide rule and a protractor, all weapons of math instruction.
No one on our staff is licensed to provide advice of any time, from financial to marital, therefore you should totally ignore everything we write, including this sentence.
All information provided is for educational and amusement purposes only, largely our own.
Before investing, always consult a licensed advisor with a demonstrated track record of continued success in both bull and bear markets alike. Warning: This may be a protracted search.
All financial speculations (church bingo, scratch tickets, Social Security) involve risk and should be engaged in only by those who have been pharmaceutically evaluated.
Invest only with funds you can afford to lose and live comfortably without, otherwise you could be wiped out in the next crash and left living in a van down by the river, surviving on welfare and other acts of kind, if reluctant taxpayers.
Worse still, you might have to move in with your relatives.
Past performance is no guarantee of future results. In fact, according to physicists, there may be no future at all. Time could suddenly stop and we'd all be frozen in place for eternity and forced to think our most recent thought forever.
So think only nice thoughts, and help everyone you meet. That's the only reason we're all here.
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